you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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