I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
