Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
