so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
This house was built for laser tag.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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