It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
