So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
