btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
