you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
