Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
