So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
