She is in my trunk
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
