Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
