I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
