I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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