"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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