This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
