So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
