I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
What a dumb baby whore.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
