what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
