She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
