Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
