Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
