the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
