I heard we made out
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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