We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
