why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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