Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Randomize
