I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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