i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
