Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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