I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
