i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
