help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
