..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
