so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This toilet bowl is my home.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
