Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize