Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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