new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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