You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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