Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
