I want to have your abortion
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
