You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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