that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
