he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
