she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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