If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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