I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
