he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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