How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
