Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
