Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize