found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
