and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
