So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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