I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
