Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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