Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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