Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
