I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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